I recently finished reading a great book by Nicholas Boothman, entitled How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less. I highly recommend this book to everyone, especially if you are a bit shy in social situations.
In a nutshell, this book provides concrete tools and exercises to help you make contact with strangers, establish a rapport with them, and make small talk. In the end, you should have a new connection in this ever-changing life. Since Boothman separates his book into three parts, I will do the same with this review.
Boothman first focuses on those first few seconds when you actually meet someone new. He provides simple tips to help you make the most positive first impression possible.
One of the things I really like from this section is Boothman’s method of greeting people: Open – Eye – Beam – Hi – Lean. Keep your heart open and aimed at the person, look the person directly in the eye, beam a bright and friendly smile to the person, say “hi”, and slightly lean toward the person. When you combine all of these things effectively, you can introduce yourself in a powerful way.
the 90-second land of rapport
I took two important principles from this section, although there are many more that you might glean from it.
First, attitude is everything! Boothman discusses in great detail what he calls “a really useful attitude.” In other words, know what you want out of communicating with another person, and adopt the attitude that will help you obtain it. In contrast, never have a “really useless attitude.”
Second, the easiest way to establish rapport with someone is to synchronize your behavior with them. This means to adopt his/her body language and method of speech. Once you become like someone else, he/she begins liking you. This is what rapport is all about. For more reading on synchronization, you can check out previous posts (Get Your Client/Interviewer to See Things Your Way, and Getting People to See Your Way – Follow-Up Thoughts).
the secrets of communication
Boothman’s final section provides great insights into the way we communicate with others. Specifically, he explains the different types of communicators (auditory, visual, and kinesthetic).
More importantly, Boothman gives you the tools and knowledge to determine what type of communicator another person is and then to change your own communication to match his/her style. This is synchronization 2.0!
What Are You Waiting For?
Ok, you have read me hyping up this book, now you definitely should go get your own copy: How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less.
These skills are incredibly useful for people in all fields, especially lawyers who must communicate and meet with new people on a daily basis. Why not invest a mere pittance and become a better communicator today?
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