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Getting People to See Your Way – Follow-Up Thoughts

Hopefully you got the chance to read my recent post about getting your client or interviewer to see things your way, which was a continuation of Open Loops’ article on How to Deal With An Irate Person. If you missed these posts, please do yourself a favor and take time to read them (this post continues their theme).

I wanted to take a minute to share two different success stories with you, regarding the “synchronization” or “pace and lead” technique of conversation.

Reader Feedback!

First, a reader emailed this great story to me:

I found it easier to follow through if you manage to maintain eye-contact with the person whom you wish to imitate. I was testing it, I guess, on my tutor and then on some people I met fresh at a party. It’s a bit intense to keep eye-contact as consistently as that, but your article was quite accurate; they didn’t seem to notice, in fact they seemed to enjoy the attention. Then, since they’re relatively content in the conversation, you can start to take more of a dominant role. I have to thank you for the link, as it seemed to have worked and I am not usually the dominant persona in conversations.

As you can tell from his experience, merely keeping close eye contact improves your conversational ability dramatically. However, when you add to it the desire to synchronize with the person (friend at party, client, interviewer), you soon obtain the ability to lead the person where you want them to go. Maybe this is helping them to calm down or simply get to know you and become friends. Regardless, the awesome techniques in How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less will help you out.

Trying It Myself

Second, I had a good experience using the synchronization technique during some recent interviews. As the reader points out, above, it is intense at first to try to synchronize with someone. However, if you simply relax and try to be like the other person, you will fall into harmony with each other. I tried this in a couple interviews, and I was amazed at how relaxed I became and how quickly the interviews sped by. Before I knew it, we were discussing things from back home just like we were old friends. In a way, we were: we synchronized!

What About You?

If you don’t believe me about this, try it for yourself. Read the book and then put it into action. You will be amazed. I promise!

Have you had a synchronization experience? Whether it was good or maybe left something to be desired, we want to hear about it. Please post a comment or drop me a line.

[tags]legal andrew, how to make people like you in 90 seconds or less, nicholas boothman, pace and lead, synchronize[/tags]

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